The image every media outlet is using to accompany this story

Unconstitutional: On Tuesday, Judge John Heyburn ruled Kentucky’s marriage ban for same-sex couples unconstitutional, reports The Washington Post, ABC News (AP), CNN, Politico, MTV and The Christian Post.

Says Heyburn, “Ultimately, Kentucky’s laws banning same-sex marriage cannot withstand constitutional review.” He writes the ban violates the 14th amendment, the same stance he took when he made a similar ruling in February, stating Kentucky must recognize out-of-state same-sex marriages.

Governor Steve Beshear appealed the February decision on behalf of the state and says he’s going to do it again. Here’s his statement:

Now that Judge Heyburn has issued his opinion on this portion of the case, we will be appealing the decision so that the matter is fully before the Sixth Circuit, where these same issues from other states are already scheduled to be decided by the Sixth Circuit.

The Sixth Circuit to which Beshear is referring, which sounds like the next Michael Bay film, is set to hear appeals on rulings from Ohio, Michigan, Kentucky and Tennessee in one fell swoop in August.

Heyburn says every state that’s taken a look at this has ruled it unconstitutional, that the whole purpose of equal rights for all citizens is kind of to let everyone do the same stuff.

As he did with the February ruling, Judge Heyburn delayed putting the decision into immediate effect, pending said appeal.

So no marriage licenses just yet in Kentucky.

The people you’d think would be happy with the decision are happy; the people you’d think would be upset are upset.

When Indiana made a similar ruling last week, National Organization for Marriage President Brian Brown said:

This is just the latest example of activism from the federal bench, but we fully expect this decision to eventually be reversed when the U.S. Supreme Court upholds the right of states to define marriage as a man and a woman. In the meantime, it is imperative that the state legislature move forward a state constitutional amendment preserving marriage so that the people always remain in control of the definition of marriage in Indiana.

Attorney Dan Cannon says:

We believe the opinion forcefully lays to rest any notion that Kentucky’s anti-marriage laws are based on anything other than discrimination against homosexuals.

Burger Boy: TripAdvisor named its Top Ten Burger Joints in America this week, says The Huffington Post, ABC News and MarketWatch. And would you look at that? Louisville’s Mussel & Burger Bar is sitting right there at number seven.

Since opening in 2013, this upscale eatery has quickly gained notoriety with its mussels and burgers menu – the restaurant’s unique take on surf ‘n’ turf. The restaurant tempts with 13 burgers, from the classic “Good Ole” cheeseburger to the truly luxurious “CEO” that comes topped with Gruyère cheese, truffle aioli, and the option to add foie gras. A TripAdvisor reviewer said, “It was juicy, had a great flavor, and clearly was made with high quality beef.

Black Hills Burger and Bun Co. of Custer, South Dakota took away top honors.

Baby’s First Job: The Daily Show made a trip to Kentucky to take a look at child labor and tobacco farming. They talk to tobacco farmer and state senator, Paul Hornback. Paul doesn’t acquit himself terribly well, I’m afraid.

Bicycle: USA Today has put out a list of its ten best bike-friendly cities, and we are right smack dab in the middle at number five. Here’s what they have to say about biking through Louisville:

A vibrant city center with outlying bucolic vistas make Louisville a beautiful bicycling backdrop. Most popular is the eight mile Louisville Riverwalk that takes on the Ohio River and around downtown Louisville. Louisville Cycling is the definitive resource for ride paths, mountain biking, local cycling outfitters, club links and information.

Austin, Texas is number one.


Thrift City: And so let’s say you’re biking about town and want to do something on the cheap. Or driving. Or walking. USA Today says Louisville is the place to be if you want to do stuff but don’t like spending money to do it. Its article, “Louisville on a Budget,” features a plethora of low-cost or no-cost activities you can find all year long.

Things like WFPK’sWaterfront Wednesday, Museum Row and the Main Ticket, which will save you almost 50 percent off regular admission, restaurants along Bardstown Road, and then there’s this little tidbit:

During the summer months, Louisville’s Shakespeare in the Park Festival is the perfect date-night value. Starting at twilight in Old Louisville’s historic Central Park, performances run from June through early August. The beautiful park, which was designed by renowned landscape architect Frederick Law Olmsted, provides an enchanting backdrop for a romantic evening.

Why, yes. Yes it does. By the way—have I seen you at the park yet? I look for you. I’m the one with the beard.

Photo of Belle of Louisville oldest operating steamboat Louisville Kentucky

Belle of Louisville

If I Live to be 100: Somebody has a birthday coming up and it’s a big one. The Belle of Louisville, the old girl, she’s turning 100 years old and to celebrate, she’s having a soiree.

The Los Angeles Times says the Centennial Festival of Riverboats will go down this October 14-19 at Waterfront Park. The Belle will have over five of her closest steamboat friends for tours, cruises and the slowest races on the face of the planet.

Ticket prices vary depending on what you want to do.

Lawrence Cards2

Movin’ on Up: Your University of Louisville Cardinals officially make the move to the Atlantic Coast Conference this week and have enlisted none other than hometown sweetheart Jennifer Lawrence to herald the change

ESPN, NBC Sports, US Weekly, College Spun, E! and Glamour report the university has set up a new website,, with a welcome video narrated by Lawrence. She talks of the rich history of the town and sports within it, the passion—nay, zealotry—of its fan base.

Let’s go back for a minute. Glamour magazine is covering, albeit indirectly, the University of Louisville’s conference change.

And if you think that’s a little confusing, they seem to agree, as much of the piece is a bewildering trip to Obvious Town with few stops on the way.

Intrepid reporter Deborah Cicurel, who just last week asked the question we’ve all been asking in her column, “Is Solange Knowles secretly engaged to Alan Ferguson?,” gave us Wednesday’s headline: “Jennifer Lawrence has a voiceover job & it’s great.”

She begins:

She’s a sought-after, adored and hugely successful actress, but it seems that’s not enough for Jennifer Lawrence – she’s gone and landed herself another job, though it may not be what you expect.


Well, I’m thinking it’s a voiceover of some kind and it’s great.

She goes on to observe, “That’s Jennifer’s voice, all right!” and rhetorically ask, “Is there anything this girl can’t do?” upon hearing an Academy Award-winning actress read 30 seconds of copy, as though her regular job isn’t to convincingly read things.

That is what we may call “media stroke,” a condition in which the topic is so utterly foreign to the writer that it renders parts of the brain completely useless and reduces the insight to such surface level observations as “she really did the thing I’m reporting she did.”

Not unlike the media stroke I recently suffered reporting on soccer, so maybe I should give Deborah a break. I mean, I won’t, but maybe I should.

Happy Independence Day, friends. May the gods of fireworks and hot dogs smile upon you.

See you next week.